Compassionate Rationality: The “T” Female

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What do you think about when you hear the name “Hermione Granger”?

Her bossiness? Her organizational skills? Her cleverness? Her compassion?

Hermione is one of those great female characters—logical, practical, sensible, grounded in reality, and truly the “brightest witch of her age.” There “isn’t a spell” she can’t do. If she can read it in a book, she can make it happen. But, she’s still a girl. When Ron insults her, she spends her day crying in the girl’s bathroom. She consoles Ginny when Ginny breaks up with Dean. She is angry with Ron when he finally gets around to realizing, “Hermione, you’re a girl!” (“Oh, well spotted!”).

The clever, funny, bossy Hermione is a Thinker personality type (ESTJ, to be precise).

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People search this blog all the time with combinations of female and Thinker personalities. I’m not sure if it’s Thinker-females searching for some sense of “normality,” or if it’s Dominant Function Feeler types trying to understand the mindset of a T-female. Either way, the bottom line comes down to… what is it like to be a Thinker female?

It’s hard. Like Hermione, we don’t quite fit in with most girls. We deal in rationality and logic instead of emotion, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be sensitive and aware of other people’s feelings.

It doesn’t mean we can’t get our feelings hurt, either.

Or that we have it “together” all the time.

Just like Hermione, we’re girls. We have biologically-driven hormones that can cause mood swings. That, we can’t control… and we hate it, because it’s “so not us” to break down in tears over stupid things!

Like Hermione, we’re not all loners, either. We make friends. We tend to be somewhat sociable, even if we’re tired later. We may not want to “fit in,” but usually we have no deep desire to be totally isolated.

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As mothers, we may not be the most warm creatures on earth (we want to protect our kids by “solving their problems” more than just listening to their woes), but we are devoted, practical, and protective.

Like Hermione, we can be blunt know-it-alls but most of us have a good heart.

So the next time you look at the Thinker-female in your life, see Hermione.

13 Replies to “Compassionate Rationality: The “T” Female”

    1. Same here, it just described me in the best possible way, reading this post was like looking at my inner self in the mirror, which clearly proves I’m definitely a Thinker female at heart. Thanks a lot for writing it, Charity, I love it and it makes me feel so understood and identified. 🙂

  1. I absolutely love Hermione Granger. She’s exactly the rational friend that Harry and Ron need, and more than once, I’ve wished I could be like her. She has a cool head; yes, she gets upset, but she doesn’t let her emotions rule her decisions. Still, though, she definitely factors in her emotions in her decisions, and I think that’s what keeps her from being cold or heartless.

    1. Hermione is… well, one of many wonderful female characters Rowling created. You have the calm, rational Hermione… the utterly whimsical, imaginative Luna… the strong, funny Ginny… the zany, klutzy, totally awesome Tonks… and of course the strong, take-no-prisoners McGonagall. No wonder I love her books so much.

  2. Thank you so much for this post. On top of being accused for being cold all the time, we female INTJs also feel the self-imposed guilt from having “emotion explosions” (like the one I had on Friday after somebody broke my $5000 instrument the day before a concert). Even we need to be reminded sometimes that it’s ok to be human. 🙂

    1. I totally relate! Sometimes I’ll have an emotional meltdown of some sort and then I feel ashamed of it… but emotions are a part of life and sometimes are justified. And, well, someone breaking a $5,000 instrument … I think that’s one situation where you’re allowed to get upset!

  3. What do you think about when you hear the name “Hermione Granger”?

    That Hermione is one of my favorite Harry Potter characters, and a best friend we would all be lucky to have.

    OK–I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, all the INTJ friends I’ve had seem really sweet! For that matter, I never even thought Spock was that “cold”. I mean, he’s always there for his friends.

    I think part of the problem with T vs F is that people act as though Thinkers are incapable of compassion, warmth or making a tender gesture. While others seem to believe that Feelers are incapable of objectivity, rationality or keeping a cool head.

    To be sure there are some Ts who come off as quite cold and unpleasant. But I think this is due to people either not making an effort or being downright uncivil. Yes, I get that the person behind the Information desk might be tired, overworked, cranky or sick, and having a really bad day, but a little basic politeness isn’t too much to ask.

    Another great post! * applauds *

    1. I don’t find him cold either but… you’d be surprised what gets searched on this blog. *cough*cold wives*cough*

      True. It can actually make figuring out someone’s type tricky, because both types can do the same exact thing for different reasons! There are debates out there on whether some female INTJs are more approachable/warmer than most male INTJs, since they’re usually more “socialized” as children. Could be!

    2. And, on the other hand, there are Fs who can be cold and strike people as very rational when they aren’t. A girl I knew at college–I think she’s INFJ–was slightly affected in some of her mannerisms, and so she could come off as a little cool, although she was extremely people-oriented and loved building relationships. (She dreamed of reviving the students’ love of the liberal arts–an absolutely hopeless cause, at least in the eyes of my INTJ self. I didn’t tell her that, however.)

      My sister–she tested ENFJ, but I’m pretty sure she’s ENFP–is frequently very cold toward other people, depending on her mood. And a friend who knows both of us told me we reminded her of each other because we were both so “logical.” I know my sister, and she’s absolutely irrational much of the time. But, despite the F in her MBTI type, the fact that I think she uses Fi can make her appear to be less of a Feeler than she really is. So much depends on the individual.

      1. That is very true! It is all based on the individual… and the circumstances…

        To use another character of Rowling’s as an example, Luna Lovegood comes across as a T in the regard that she really doesn’t care what anyone says about her and isn’t particularly concerned about hurting their feelings either — but she’s totally irrational. She’s exceptionally smart, but her entire belief system is based on believing in things that can’t and don’t exist, in spite of her stubbornly insisting they do! She’s an F that looks like a T at first glance!

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