This gif perfectly represents how I feel about birthdays. It also amuses me.
29 years ago, my mother brought me into this world, screaming. I’m not sure if she was screaming or I was, but I do know that the mere sight of me caused my atheistic doctor to drop to his knees and pray for me in a sudden burst of profound inspiration… or sheer terror. My dad saw rainbows all the way to the hospital, in the early morning. That’s unusual. It either means that God blessed him with me (well, duh) or that I’m doomed to always have it rain on my birthday (which much of the time, it does). I don’t know what else went on in my itty bitty childhood other than the fact that I was adorable, and went from having dark hair at my birth to a whitish-blonde color (which may explain my love for Luna Lovegood and Lucius Malfoy). My cheeks were always pink and chapped. And if you had any doubt as to where I was, it was probably in the vicinity of the nearest cat. Still am, come to think of it.
So, how does one celebrate turning one year closer to the dreaded 30 and rapidly-approaching graying hair? (Bishops prematurely gray. I’m counting on it. I’m going to bleach it and do a Miranda Priestly ala Devil Wears Prada. Shut up, it is awesome.) Well, if you are me, you spend your last night of being 28 exploring Pottermore. Guess where I got sorted into. I’ll wait. Gryffindor? No… I’m too much of a coward. Hufflepuff? No… I’m too, um, complicated for that. Ravenclaw? It would make sense, right? Ravenclaws are intelligent and cunning and nicer than the people in Slytherin. So I belong there, right? I thought so! J.K. Rowling didn’t think so! Guess who got sorted into Slytherin! Me, that’s who! I am now a proud inhabitant of the dungeons of Hogwarts. My insignia is a Snake. I join the ranks of the awesome villains, such as Voldemort, Bellatrix, and the Malfoys.
Of course, the mere sight of me inspired a godless man to pray, so… this isn’t entirely a surprise. It did, however, inspire a barrage of quotes once I got finished screaming, “ARE YOU SERIUS??” Such as:
“There wasn’t a witch or wizard that went bad that wasn’t in Slytherin!” – Ron
But then there is also:
“The bravest man I ever knew was in Slytherin.” – Harry Potter
Damn straight, Harry. Snape was brave. He was also an unmitigated arse most of the time. So come to think of it, yeah, I do belong in Slytherin.
(If any of you are members and want to pal up, my handle is RainWatch28124. For that matter, if anyone wants to gush/sniffle with me over McGonagall’s back story… do it. The daughter of a Presbyterian Minister and a Witch, huh? … yeah, that wouldn’t go over big in his congregation.)
I finished out the evening by watching W.E. (read my semi-gushing review here), Madonna’s directorial debut. Everyone says it sucks. It doesn’t. I loved it. I did not love everything in it, but I think it’s a terrific debut and that the critics are being unfairly judgmental of it. All I know is that it made me hate Wallis & Edward a little bit less, and that takes effort. Have you seen The King’s Speech? If so, you know what I’m talking about. If not, go watch it. I’ll wait.
Today, the day of my birth, I will spend with ladies at tea. I will spend it antiques shopping. I will spend it wearing my new “coal of the Titanic” necklace. I will spend it mindful of the state of this nation, and in prayer for its future… because today is also the National Day of Prayer. Please be mindful of that.
On a minor note, please excuse some of the dust at Charity’s Place over the next week or so. I will be updating the archives and adding back in a lot of the “later” film reviews.
God bless you all!