Being Single

This weekend will bring some reviews of costume dramas (including Neverland, which was surprisingly decent) and major changes to Charity’s Place, but in the meantime….


The movie ended the way I knew it would: the guy and girl finally worked out their problems and could be together. I smiled, chucked my empty popcorn bucket into the trash, and went home. Alone.

I was never one to sit and daydream about romance. My father raised me with an independent streak and marriage never really entered my mind. I respected my friends who tied the matrimonial knot and wished them well, but was content in being single. The people around me made me wonder if this was normal, if it was wrong, if I was disobeying God by not desiring a family. Popular culture would have us believe that unless we are half of a couple, we are nothing. Movies promote this. Magazines promote this. Even the church to a degree promotes it. Women are interactive creatures. We need relationships, because we need people to talk with. That is how God wired us to be, because He knew that women would have to carry the message! We talk more. It’s a proven fact. That means we could be talking about Christ.
Part of our internal makeup is the desire to be loved, because as God told Adam, “Woman will desire you.” Women want to feel loved and safe, to be protected and have someone to turn to in the middle of the night. But there are all levels of relationships, and not every woman is the same. Just as we don’t all wear the same pair of shoes or style our hair the same way, our lives are not structured to be cookie cutter copies of one another. Your best friend might have a fantastic, healthy Christian relationship with a wonderful, godly man, while you are content to share your fries with no one. There is nothing wrong with that, however much society would impress otherwise. The whole purpose of being a Christian woman is to experience what God has in store for your life. For some of you that may mean marriage and raising a family, for others, it could be leading a single life.

No one likes to hear that they may never tie the knot, but marriage is not the most important thing in our lives. Paul pointed out that he was in favor of individuals in the ministry remaining single, so that they could devote all their attention to Christ rather than the needs of a spouse. Society has attempted to put the focus of self-worth and the fulfillment of happiness onto the notion that only through being involved with another person can you truly become whole. This simply isn’t true. You cannot find fulfillment in another person, because they cannot offer what your heart yeans to know—the eternity and everlasting love of God.

Our purpose on earth is to serve God and to point others to Him through our actions. If you are not on the road to matrimony, it does not mean you are less a person or was standing behind the door when God handed out romance stubs. It is okay to be single. It is okay to choose to be single. You should never be ashamed to show up at a family reunion alone, because you have Christ in your life. Use this time of being single to devote yourself entirely to Him, to put your focus on what God wants for your life, rather than yearning for romantic affections. The closer you draw to Him, the less important it will become to find your significant other, because the more you will trust Him with your life. He may then bring the wonderful, godly man that you want to marry into your life… or He may not.

I know quite a few talented, aspiring, godly women that would rather devote their single life to Christ than say, “I do” to a human being. Their calling is in a different field. You should not be ashamed of who you are, that you don’t have a date to bring to the family picnic or walk around campus with. There is a season for everything, and your focus should be on a relationship that does not end with death. Once you have that relationship worked out, everything else falls into place. There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not constantly thinking about getting married. There’s nothing wrong with you if your wedding day never comes. It doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person; just that God has a unique path to set before you. Enjoy it. You may even learn to love it.

7 thoughts on “Being Single

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  1. It’s cool to be single and I really like your thoughts on this. Being 30 and having only dated a few people, it’s refreshing to hear you touching on this subject.

    However, I do wish to marry and have children someday and I sometimes wonder if that’s God’s plan for me or not.

    1. If it makes you feel any better, I’m nearing 30 (a year and a half to go) and have never been on a date. The one person who asked me out, I turned down! =P

      Sometimes, it is hard not to know the future, but we should never assume anything, because God can change our lives in a very short amount of time, if it is His will for us. I hope He does have a husband in store for you. =)

  2. Good thoughts, Charity! Thanks for the reminder that we are not alone if we have Christ!

    On a different note, do you have any sites you recommend for movie reviews? I’ve looked around a little bit, but haven’t come across quite like Charity’sPlace that gave such a good synopisis with detailed content warnings. I’m glad to hear that you are still reviewing BBC movies. That is needed!

  3. I always love reading your thoughts. You’re so insightful, and even in something like this, I’m able to take something away, though the topic you addressed doesn’t apply to me. We should be content in whatever part of life we’re in; thank you for the reminder.

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