Editorial: Where Are They?

For years I’ve been trying to figure out why women love the Twilight series. It’s just a love story. Since there are a million other love stories out there, what makes it special? I now think it’s because Bella has two great guys vying for her affection. This may seem like a “duh” but let’s stop to analyze it for a moment. Look around you. Do you see a lot of single girls? How about single guys? Not so much the latter? Yeah, we girls have noticed it too. By some strange phenomenon, there aren’t any young men anymore. I wish I knew where they were, because it’s not around here or in the many towns, cities, and suburbs in which my girl friends live all across the country. If young men did exist, my friends would be married by now. They all have the same problem: they want to be a wife but have no marital prospects because looking around them, young men aren’t in church anymore. Or on the street. Or hanging out online. Or working in the Hardware Store.

So the question on our lips is… where are they?

I wish I had the answers. I meet an occasional young man and nine times out of ten he’s already married. There cannot be that many more girls than boys. So where are the single guys? My current theory is a lot of my generation joined the military after 9/11, in which case those that survived combat should come home eventually… right?

I like this theory, because my other two ideas aren’t nice. The first involves alien abduction and experimentation, which can be traumatic for those involved, especially if they were unwilling in the first place.

The second is that guys simply are not interested in marriage, in becoming financially secure, or in being ambitious and acting as a provider; that the ambition of women made them content to live in their parents’ basement and make just enough money to purchase new video games.

What about college? There are guys there but my age group is approaching 30. Unless he plans on being a brain surgeon and an astronaut in his spare time, he should be out by now.

Which brings us back to the world of Twilight, where Bella has the privilege of choosing between two guys. Never mind that one is a vampire and the other is a werewolf, that’s not the point. The point is that girls project themselves onto Bella and want to be in her shoes. Edward is a gentleman who insists on marriage instead of just “hooking up.” And Jacob is a total darling, always there for her, willing to help her through her rough times, and always ready to protect her if need be. (I’m Team Jacob, if you care.)

That’s what girls want. That’s why romances on screen and in books are so popular and why young women like the series so much. They are projecting their desires onto Bella, secretly wishing for a guy that measures up to these imaginary boys. (Don’t ask me why older, married women love the books. I don’t know and don’t want to know.)

I know there must be single guys out there who want to fulfill the role God designed for them as leaders, husbands, and fathers. I don’t know where they are or why they haven’t shown up in any of our lives, but since I don’t remember hearing about a male-only rapture on the news, they must exist. Somewhere.
Or maybe they don’t exist. Because if they do, they have some explaining to do. ♥

5 Replies to “Editorial: Where Are They?”

  1. A lot of men returning from war kind of ‘shell up’. They just find it too hard to relate to people who have not been there. A college friend of mine, known for being a happy-go-lucky jokester, came back from Iraq with a bullet-grazed throat and a cautious, hermit-like demeanor. Not most men who return are that bad, but enough are to make a difference, I bet.

    As for me, well, I throw my hat into the dating arena from time to time, but I have found as I get older I actually get choosier, just because I don’t want to repeat past mistakes… and there is a bit of selfishness on my part I suppose, as I like having the freedom to uproot myself on a whim and go where I please without a by your leave to anyone. Not to mention a fear I have of causing people emotional pain, which seems unavoidable as I am human and prone to err, and tend to torment myself the worst over the past loves I have distressed. Which is why I guess I get choosier to minimize personality conflicts.

    I suppose the biggest reason is that some pretty bad mental illnesses exist on both sides of my family, and while I may have gotten off “lightly” with my ADHD, I feel reluctant sharing the hallucinations, obsessive-compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder, addictive personality disorder, paranoia, and sociopathy that infests my family line along with the diabetes, poor eyesight, and fallen arches found in most of my family members.

    So it is not all immaturity and caddishness. Sometimes it may just be an otherwise good guy feeling a bit emotionally exhausted. Or not wanting to pass along certain health issues. I am sure there are women out there who can relate.

    Sorry about the ramble. I just felt the need to point out there are more reasons for men to be ‘off the market’ than the ones discussed.

  2. I'm with you there- where have all the good men gone? I know so few! And those that I do know rarely live close by. =P Ah well. I know God has a good guy out there for me, and He'll work it all out in His good timing.

  3. I'm going with the alien abduction theory. That goes hand-in-hand with my theory about all the super-handsome British guys being abducted at birth for Hollywood (since my best friend who lives in England says there aren't any just walking down the street). Just a theory.

    Seriously, this was a really great post. 🙂 I totally agree.

  4. It's funny you posted about this. In May I went to a huge conference my church's ministry held in Orlando. I knew several single guys would be going, as did many of the single young women I know in the churches. But wouldn't you know- SO many of them were holding girls' hands. So not so many of them were single! Girr. xD

  5. Right on Charity, I love this post. This is exactly why I like Twilight (though I love to hate it too ;). This issue has been on my mind as of late, I am glad to know that I am not alone here.

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