Sorry I haven’t updated in so long. To be honest, I’m not quite sure what to do with this space! I don’t seem to have much enthusiasm for movie blogging and various aspects of my life have kept me too busy to do much more than write reviews in the rare spare time I actually have, so it may become more like an “ordinary” blog, a means of communication and an outlet for me to express my thoughts. My responsibilities at work have doubled thanks to the sinking economy and I am trying to finish a fantasy-allegory novel. I had hoped to complete it by December… and then by March… and now am guessing it may be summer before I am finished with it. I used to self-publish, but not anymore; this book is going to remain unreleased until I find an agent and they find a publisher. I suspect it will be a long and difficult path but then God might have other plans. All I can do is continue to use the gifts He has given me and step out in faith, right?
I have loved all the books I have written, but this one is a bit different from the others. I have noticed certain trends in my writing… I love the use of subtle symbolism and religious aspects that tend to be a little more mystical than explained. One of my dear friends once told me that buried deep in my Protestant heart of is “tiny bit of Catholic.” Although there are aspects of their belief system that I do not agree with entirely (I have studied it extensively and understand all the “reasons” for certain of their beliefs — and some of them I am even inclined to agree with) I must admit that the traditional aspect of it, combined with their joy in believing in the mythical aspect of God, delights me. I am drawn to spiritual things, to belief in miracles and unexplained events. I don’t know if it is just that tendency within me or that I have witnessed and heard so many incredible things in my short time on this earth. (Some of them were terrifying and others filled me with hope.)
My dad brought me up on C.S. Lewis and some of his ideology has crept into my life over the years. I love his concept that Christianity is the myth that came true — that all mythology dating from the beginning of time was in fact pointing toward Christ, who fulfilled everything prophesied about Him when He came to walk among mortals and die for them. I have always believed humans have a sort of collective memory, or an inclination if you will, toward heaven. In our souls, we know we were meant for something more than this fallen world — we long for Paradise even though we have never experienced it. Adam and Eve had it for a short time and then it faded until we were left “looking through a mirror darkly.” I look around me at the immense talent and gifts that God has given us even in our fallen state and think, “What might we be like in our purest form, in His presence?”
Society is at the moment obsessed with supernatural abilities and the power to live forever. Its chosen means is through vampire fiction (which deserves an essay of its own; I believe that really is a secular expression of eternal damnation, or an everlasting separation from God and immortality at the same time — which would be a literal hell in a fallen world) and popular “hero” television shows, comic books, and movies. I think we are so fascinated with these abilities because in our hearts we suspect we were meant to be powerful. That is really what is driving the concept of my latest work, a “what if…?” approach to the possibility that God might “gift” people with extraordinary abilities for a specific purpose. The premise is that such talents dwell within all of us, but as we grow up and become more and more distant from the innocence and courage of childhood, they fade or are forgotten.But what if they did not fade? What if you awoke one morning and discovered God had an immense purpose for your life, that your uniqueness was for a specific purpose?
It is my alternative to Libba Bray, an author with magnificent ideas and tremendous creativity but who pervades her books with immensely dark themes and almost satanic violence (something that came as rather a shock to me, considering her role as a minister’s daughter). I was uncomfortable with many aspects of her book because it was devoid of innocence and was filled with such genuine evil. There is a vast difference in “innocent” magic in fiction and that which entertains themes of realistic, animal-sacrificing witchcraft. I am curious to see how eventually my own work will be received because it is an unusual and controversial premise, one that speculates that true “magic” originate from God in our lives for specific purposes; we are merely the vessel through which His will works. More traditional readers will no doubt back away from it, but I think it has the potential to invoke thought if nothing else.
What if we lived our lives as if we knew that God had given us our gifts and intended for us to use them?
Would that make an immense difference in our world?